More Than Grades: What We Communicate to Our Students

I’ve been reading Teaching Happiness by Ian Morris, and one section has really stayed with me: “Spirituality and the Child.”:

“It ought to be self-evident that when adults are working with children, they are primarily communicating a way of being human — how they themselves approach life. Nevertheless, the importance of relationships can be almost entirely concealed from teachers who think of their task primarily as one of processing information or training thinking skills. Contemporary overconcern with scores on academic league tables makes it tempting to forget this. What is conveyed as a lack of spiritual awareness is sometimes paraded as a virtue.”

It captures a tension that many schools face today: the pull between academic performance and the deeper purpose of education, which is to nurture young people into becoming resilient, reflective, and emotionally intelligent human beings.

Schools as More Than Information Processors

When we think of schools as places that primarily “process information,” we risk narrowing education to something mechanical. Students become test-takers, and teachers become trainers of thinking skills. While academic skills are vital, they’re only one part of what young people need to navigate life.

As Morris points out, education is about more than just transferring knowledge. At its heart, it’s relational. Every interaction between a student and an adult communicates something bigger: a way of being human. Whether intentionally or not, we are consistently modelling how to respond to challenges, how to handle emotions, and how to connect with others.

The Hidden Curriculum of Relationships

What often gets overlooked is that this “hidden curriculum”, the lessons students absorb from relationships and interactions, may be just as impactful as the formal curriculum. A teacher who demonstrates patience, empathy, and openness is not only teaching content but also showing students how to live.

Yet in a culture where league tables and test scores dominate, it’s tempting to forget this. Sometimes, as Morris warns, even the absence of this relational, “spiritual” awareness is celebrated as if it were a sign of rigour or discipline. But when schools downplay the importance of relationships, we risk sending the message that success is measured only in grades, not in how we connect, cope, and grow as people.

Equipping Students for the Full Range of Life

At Counsel Clouds, our mission is rooted in this wider vision of education. We want to equip students with the ability to experience life in its full range of emotions and feelings. That means helping them build resilience, emotional awareness, and the confidence to seek support when needed.

Life is so much more than exam results. It’s about the ability to celebrate joy, manage stress, navigate loss, and build meaningful relationships. These are the skills that sustain us not just in school, but throughout our lives.

A Question for Our Schools

So here’s the question that stays with me: Is this vision evident in our curriculum and school ethos?

Do our schools value resilience and empathy as much as achievement? Do our policies and practices encourage young people to reflect on who they are becoming, not just what they are achieving?

If we truly want to prepare students for the future, we need to broaden the definition of success. Academic achievement should matter, yes, but so should emotional well-being, relationships, and the ability to live as a whole human being.

Final Thoughts

As educators, counsellors, and parents, the challenge before us is to hold space for both excellence in academics and depth in humanity. If we can achieve that balance, then our students won’t just leave school with grades; they will also have developed a sense of purpose. They’ll go with the tools to live, connect, and thrive.